"What did you say?" I said looking up from the computer screen towards the door, "What do I think about what, honey?" Honey was Becky Peterson from across the street. She and my next door neighbor's daughter Caroline Hennessy, also eleven, were playing outdoors before she came inside to ask me whatever it was she had just asked me, and which I had totally missed out on hearing.

"I asked you which one of us, Caroline or me, has prettier boobies."

"Boobies? You're having an argument over your boobies? Neither of you is even twelve yet."

Becky flinched as if slapped. A completely crestfallen look swept over her face. I might just as well have hit her upside the head with a two-by-four as to have slighted her precious newly forming chest projections. "Mr. Donaldson! I'll have you know we do too have boobies, we're ALMOST twelve."

"Becky, honey. I didn't mean to slight your mammaric achievements. It's just that that's a funny question to suddenly be putting to a neighbor. Even a trusted neighbor like me. You should ask your moms or dads or let Caroline's brother William decide so intimate a question."

"William would just pick Caroline. Her dad would too, and my dad would pick me. We need somebody objective."

"Who's idea was it for me to settle this question?"

"Caroline's. And mine. We both came up with it together, at the exact same instant, actually."

"Well, I don't know. To tell you the truth I never thought about you two even having boobies at all, much less whose are prettier. Now don't go getting your dander up again! I mean, boobies are something old geezers like me don't spend that much time thinking about. Now, you take young guys, that's about all they ever think about. That and girls' legs, and maybe where those legs meet their bodies. STRIKE THAT! I mean, I . . ."

"If I get Caroline to come in here so you can see both of us side by side, would you be willing to give us your honest opinion?"

"Why, I guess so. Sure. I mean, I can't see any reason not to." ......(cont)