Maybe I should explain what happened to me. It started about last year when my ex-wife and I were having marital problems. It wasn't about money because we had more than enough. But, we just weren't getting along at all. Counseling wasn't helping, separations proved meaningless, we just grew so close and that closeness doomed us in the end. Granted, the whole situation stunk, but it was especially hard on Jamie. She loved both of us, but she and I were so close. Before my eventual divorce, we did everything and anything together. I loved to hold her in my arms and whispers little sweet words into her ears, words that would make her blush and grin with love. She was so cute at nine, she had a head full of black hair, long legs, very smooth skin (she got that from her mother), small facial features, but a ton of charm and sweetness.

She was so crushed when the divorce became reality, but, she was devastated when I moved out. I'll never forget when I was about to leave, she asked me, while sobbing, "Daddy, don't you love me anymore? Please, don't leave, stay with me." With tears forming in my own eyes, I told her, "Baby, I love you more than anything in the world. And, I always will. But, I have to leave. I'm so sorry." And with that, I left my ex-wife's house. More importantly, I was leaving the love of my life behind. And that really made me feel like crap.

So, I lived in my solitary loft, working and partying and sexually entertaining women all the time. But, in the back of my mind, I was wondering about Jamie. I missed her so much, weekends with her weren't enough. But, things took a turn for the tragic. About a month after her ninth birthday, she got really sick with flu-like symptoms. She was so ill, she had to go to the hospital. Over time, as the doctors were baffled by her illness, her condition worsened as she just wasn't responding to conventional treatments. I remember the last night I stayed with her, she looked up at me with a weak smile and said, "Daddy, I love you. I always have and I always will. I'll wait for you in heaven, OK?" This broke my heart; I broke down in her room, knowing that my daughter was going to die. And there was nothing I could do about it. She passed away the next morning, a few minutes after sunrise. I felt so fucking empty. My daughter was dead, gone at seven years old. So, after signing some forms and conferring with my ex-wife, as to the funeral arrangements, I went home to put down a gallon of alcohol.

I started out from the hospital, driving really slowly as I was still in shock. I was about three blocks from my place when I came up to this right turn. I made the turn perfectly and legally, when I heard a screeching of tires. I turned my head for a second when I saw this big SUV coming right at me. I didn't even have time to move when that damned minivan slammed head-on into the driver's side of my car. Then, everything went black......(cont)