No, I don't mean because she was hot - although she certainly was. No, Marsha O'Donnell would drive anyone crazy with her endless prattle.

Here are the things you would learn about Marsha within ten minutes of meeting her, whether you were interested or not. First, that she was the single mother of a thirteen-year-old girl, Mary-Margaret, who was beautiful, brilliant, yada-yada-yada. Second, that her husband had run off many years ago, and although he had followed the formalities of eventually divorcing Marsha, that didn't matter, since Marsha was a "real" Catholic, and would never remarry, at least as long as this erstwhile husband was alive.

Third, that being a single mom who had to work was tough, since this made Mary-Margaret a latchkey kid; in other words, she was home alone to fend for herself between 3 pm, when her Catholic middle school let out, and about 6 pm, when Marsha got home from work.

And fourth, that Marsha was a militant pro-life, anti-abortion activist, who often spent Saturdays picketing abortion clinics, daughter in tow, as part of a group led by her parish priest.

Perhaps I exaggerate. Perhaps it takes Marsha a full hour of acquaintance to get these factoids lodged in most cases. However, I heard them all within the first ten minutes of arriving to take charge of the facility.

Oh, I guess I should explain. I'm the corporation's executive "fixer." I travel to whichever regional location needs me, spend a few weeks straightening things out (usually after we've just fired an executive, or when one pulls the old "screw you" resignation and joins a competitor without giving notice).

In this situation, it had been the former: Simmons had so bollixed up the operations of the Upper Midwest Region that they had sent me out with his final paycheck and a job to do.

I had become the fixer through a meteoric rise (I may have left a few "corpses" along the way) and I loved it. It paid a lot better than a stationary role, and I got to move around a lot, which certainly had its advantages. I wasn't married, and I had no parental responsibilities, so I was free to pursue this job wherever and whenever the firm needed me.

Of course, I said I had no PARENTAL responsibilities. I have had plenty of PATERNAL irresponsibilities, at least six that I'm sure of, and happily, not a one has been even connected to me by any authority. And now I was going to try for number seven.

I had been in Springfield doing my "fixing" for nearly three months now, and my job was done. Simmons' permanent replacement had been selected a week earlier, and I had just completed my turnover. I had a ticket out of town today at 3:00 pm, and after that, I'd be just another fleeting episode in this region's history: who was that masked man? ......(cont)