But this isn't a story of my first time with her. It's about another, earlier experience. Much earlier. It's an account of the emerging sexuality of a young boy who very nearly lost his virginity at the age of 12, one chilly autumn night in 1961. Her name was Karen. Karen was just nine years old then.

Until recently I had forgotten about this incident. Yeah, I know, it seems incredible, but I had. Perhaps a psychologist would say I had sublimated it, though I don't think so; it certainly was not unpleasant or traumatic. To the contrary, it was every 12-year-old kid's dream come true.

The memory suddenly surfaced about two years ago, triggered by an amazingly complex rush of emotions resulting from an encounter with my daughter, just now turning 11. She would've been about 9 then I guess. I inadvertently walked in on her while she was masturbating. You can imagine the instantaneous rush of emotions; astonishment, embarrassment, amusement, regret, concern -- and, uncomfortably, a strong sense of sexual arousal. That aspect of it captured my attention for days afterward and, I suppose, is what triggered these youthful memories that I'd forgotten.

And, oh god, what memories, once they came back. What I wouldn't give to go back -- for just one hour -- back to one specific day with little, nine-year-old Karen; to go back knowing what I know now..........(cont)