This from pretty ten-year-old Stephanie, my niece.

"Steph, I never said I would. I said I might!"

"Yes, I know, Uncle John, but that's almost the same. And you know that for me it meant that you really would."

"Huh, that's a good one! And why on earth would you think that it would be any fun for me to go to the Aquapark. It's just for kids."

"Oh, Uncle, that's just not true, and you know just as well as I do that there are lots of reasons why it would be fun for you too. Lots of reasons with big boobs and little bikinis, for instance!"

"Now where did you get an idea like that from, Stephanie?"

"Oh, as if you didn't know. Everyone in the family knows says you're a dirty old man and no clean-living girl is safe within a hundred miles of you. At least that's what my Dad says, and that I have to watch your hands whenever I'm around you."

"Pah! My brother always accuses me of his own vices. He's the one you ought to look out for!"

"Oh, stop it, Uncle John, he's my father for god's sake! That's just disgusting! So, anyway, can we go to the Aquapark, pleeease, Uncle. I promise to be the perfect little niece and to do everything you tell me while I'm here this weekend. Really, truly. Oh, go on, pleee...eee...eeease!"

"Huh, the day you do what I tell you hasn't dawned yet!"

"I will, though, promise! Cross my heart and hope to die!"

"Well, ok, then, later! But I'm going to hold you to that promise. Even though you are an evil little brat, I certainly don't want you to die. For one thing my brother might not like it, though I can't think why!"

"Oh, Uncle, you're horrible. And I'm not a brat, and I'm not even so little either. And if I am just a teeny weeny bit evil at times, it's only because I know you like it. Think how boring I would be otherwise. Anyway, I do so love you, as long as you take me to the Aquapark, that is!! OK, we're going, right? Why haven't you got your swimsuit on yet. I have. I've had mine on since I got up this morning." ......(cont)