Not that I planned things out that way. At twenty-seven I surely did not think that I would still be living alone. I had for years planned it all out. I would be married by twenty four at the latest and be starting a family a few years later. Things were supposed to go that way, they were supposed to be that easy, instead here I am finding myself at twenty seven still living alone and most o those plans and dreams pushed somehow off to the side. That is how life goes sometimes I suppose.

It's not like I don't want to be married and be starting a family that would be the furthest from the truth. I believe the first time I thought about starting a family was when I was sixteen. I am not sure what the thought was exactly, but it had something to do with wanting to have a daughter. That thought still plagues me to this day, I still find myself wanting a daughter, perhaps two. It's just that somehow it never happened. Perhaps it's the fact that I lack the dating social skills necessary to find someone, or perhaps its just dumb luck that it hasn't happened yet for me. Hell I haven't even been laid in nearly six years now, not that I really miss that. The women that I slept with during my late teenage and early twenty years were not exactly the kinds of women that you write home to your parents about. So no I don't really miss that either.

My job sucks, then again I am sure that most of you would tell me the same thing about your jobs, but there it is the plain and simple truth. My Job Sucks. Its not like I wanted to be doing this job, because believe me no one picks a job like mine on purpose. Eight years ago when I took the job working as an assistant manager at a video game retail chain I never thought that I would be an area manager going from one store to another and checking on things and then doing figures at home all the time either. But here I am doing this job that I really do not like, but doing it because I need to in order to live. Sure I pull in nearly sixty thousand a year and sure the benefits are great and sure I don't have to work weekends. Still there are parts of the job that just grate on me. Especially the parts where I have to deal with incompetent managers and incompetent employees that they hire. I do have the third best area in the company though so perhaps that is something.

At home my private life is nothing to be excited about either. I have a core group of friends, some of them have already started families as well though so far only one of them has a daughter, and she's two I believe though I rarely see her. I spend time with friends when I have a chance and they do the same. There are times when we are all over at my place where there are no worries really and no wife either. But I see it in my friend's faces and in the way that they talk. They all wonder the same thing: when is Cal going to get married.

My mom wonders it as well, though she doesn't come right out and say it. It's just the way that she will have a conversation with me. "So Cal sweetie are you seeing anyone?" Or something like, "Well you know Cal your Aunt Hanna was telling me about this woman that. . ." Or some other hint at a single woman around my own age. My mom wouldn't ever really come out and shove it down my throat, but it was there none the less. I didn't know how to tell her that things would either work out in my favor one day or they wouldn't. I didn't want to hurt her either or make her back off because I loved my mother a lot.

Its not like I have that much to hide from an adult woman, well okay that's not exactly true. To tell the truth I have a lot to hide from an adult woman that might be a potential wife. First off there is my collection of anime. Yeah I know what you're thinking: big deal its just anime. Well about ninety percent of all of it features preteen girls in very skimpy clothing. Which brings me to my collection of stories number in the hundreds all about little girls and well sex. To put it plainly I have the fact that I am a love and admirer of little girls to hide from an adult woman who would probably never understand that it's a desire that I can totally and powerfully control. I like looking and imagining but that is all, I know what reality is and where to draw the line perfectly. But most women wouldn't see it that way.

Perhaps that was the reason why I was alone for so long, the reason why it took some kind of a miracle for things to change. I am not really sure how my life changed so suddenly one spring afternoon, but it did. That is where all of this is leading. I just wanted to let you know a little bit about me, Calvin Rikers before tell you the story that I have to tell. It's a story about me and how my life changed forever. I am sure that most will not believe what I put down but all I can say is that it is the truth, gods honest truth and it all really happened the way that I'm saying it happened, if it didn't then why would I be saying it? ......(cont)