I got sort of stopped in the middle of my Journal entry last time, sometimes the phone just won't leave me alone. I'm surprised at how much I am enjoying relating all details of what I went through with my girls. I'm also surprised at how much I remember about that time. Looking back at it now, with Lee being eighteen and Michelle at sixteen it is hard to believe that there was a time when we weren't intimate with each other. Anyway back to that Saturday morning.

After we parked on the car deck on the ferry we climbed up to the passenger deck and sat down on a bench outside of the main passenger cabin. It was a beautiful day, clear with just a few puffy clouds, not to cool, even on Puget Sound. This was the sort of day that made people up here run around taking pictures to prove to relatives that it really "didn't rain all the time" in the Northwest - we had about five of them a year. Lynn sat with a girl on each side of her, I sat on Michelle's other side, and just listened. Lynn explained to Michelle how Lee got into this relationship sort of accidentally (Lee kept wanting to interject comments, but Lynn asked her to wait until she was through). Then she went on to tell her that I had agreed to teach both girls about sex between men and women, and even though she was a little young for this teaching we had agreed to include her. Michelle started to complain that she wasn't too young, Lee about to chime in with her viewpoint when Lynn repeated to both of them to just sit quietly until she was done.

"Michelle, you are two years younger than Lee, that's a fact. Your emotions and body are not as developed, but there is a lot that Daddy can show you about how to relate with men so that when you start to date you will know how to handle yourself, besides, even though you can't do some of the things that Lee can do right now, you have a two year head start on her." Michelle leaned forward and looked a Lee with a smug look, Lee again started to comment but I caught her eye and gave her a wink, she got the message and shut up.

"The important thing Michelle honey," Lynn continued, "is that you understand how important it is not to discuss any of this outside of our family - both of you girls could be taken away from Daddy and I if the authorities were to learn what we are teaching you."

"Mommy, why does anyone care what parents teach their children? I mean we're your kids, it isn't any of their old business anyway!" Michelle interjected in a indignant tone. This sort of threat to her family just pissed Michelle off, I had never met a child who had such strong views at her age.

"I know honey, the laws are there to protect children, but they often just hurt them and parents. But, we're never going to change them, it's very complicated and we'll talk about it more later, for now just understand that you must never, never, talk about what we do together outside of the four of us. Not to teachers, friends, even Uncle Frank and Aunt Kathy, anyone at all."

"But why not Uncle Frank, Mommy? I know he would never do anything to hurt our family," Michelle asked.

"We don't want to tell him about this honey, it puts a terrible obligation on anyone who knows, we love Uncle Frank and we don't want him to have this responsibility. Both of you need to understand that being able to have sex play with Daddy will be really fun for you, but it's a privilege, and there's always responsibility with privilege." Both girls got that "here it comes look" on their faces. But Lynn wasn't ready to give the rules lecture yet.

"So, Michelle did you have fun with Daddy this morning when you surprised him with Lee? Tell me what you thought when you came into the office and saw them together." Lynn wanted to find out how much Michelle understood and where we needed to start the discussion.

Michelle sat there for a minute as though reliving the moment in her mind. "Well, I came in the door and Michelle was in her new underwear sucking on Daddy's prick, then Daddy shot cum on her and she yelled at me to get out. Then Daddy told me to sit down but then I got up and went over and sucked on him too. Then Lee told me what had happened and what to call things." She sat back looking pleased as though she had passed a test.

Lee just burst out laughing, Lynn quickly quieted her, but it was impossible for Lynn and I not to smile as well. That was a typical Michelle response, absolutely correct, in the right order and totally devoid of any information about what she thought or felt. My youngest was a black and white person. Well, what could you expect from a ten year old who's favorite computer program was Excel. Once she even put a spread sheet of hers on the refrigerator door next to Lee's art work.

"Well, that's exactly what happened." Michelle said indignantly, looking up a her mother.

"I know it was honey, it's what you saw Lee and Daddy doing and what you did, but what I wanted you to do was to tell us like it was a story, you know, like you were telling us what thoughts and feelings were in your mind ('if she has one,' Lee interjected under her breath which got her a soft whack on the head from Lynn)during the whole time. Tell us what you felt along with what you saw and heard."

I thought to myself that this might be a waste of time, I wasn't really sure that Michelle had conscious access to her feelings. I often believed that Michelle saw or heard something and responded, she didn't think about it first or feel about it later. She sat there for a few more minutes, seemingly replaying the scene in her mind. Then she brightened up as thought she had just figured out a new way of expressing what she had seen.

"Once upon a time this little girl went to her ..." Michelle started.......(cont)