Just as she came up to them, she heard one of them say, "Look out now, Five! Don't go splashing paint on me like that!"

"I couldn't help it," said Five, in a sulky tone, "Seven jogged my elbow."

On which Seven looked up and said, "That's right, Five! Always lay the blame on others!"

"You'd better not talk!" said Five. "I heard the Queen say only yesterday that you deserved to have your dick lopped off!"

"What for?" asked the one who had spoken first.

"That's none of your business, Two!" said Seven.

"Yes, it is his business!" said Five, "and I'll tell him. It was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of onions."

It was about that time that Alice noticed that all of the cards had dicks. And surprisingly, the size of their dicks seemed to match their number, even in the soft stage. Seven had a very nice whanger dangling down between his legs, while Five had one just a little shorter and Two only had a nub of a cock sticking out.

Just then Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun "Well, of all the unjust things," when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as she stood watching them. He checked himself suddenly, and as the others looked round also, they all bowed low.

"Would you tell me," said Alice, a little timidly, "why you are painting those roses red?"

Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two.

"Why the fact is," Two said in a low voice, "you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a red rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake. And if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our dicks cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our best, afore she comes, to make it look like a red rose-tree.

At that moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out, "The Queen! The Queen!" and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces.

There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.

First came ten soldiers carrying clubs. These were all shaped like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and feet at the corners and dicks, the length of which corresponded exactly to their number sticking out at the middle of their bottom. Next came ten courtiers with their dicks flopping about wildly. These were ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the soldiers did. After these came the royal children. There were ten of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand in hand, in couples. They were all ornamented with hearts. Next came the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice recognized the White Rabbit. It was talking in a hurried nervous manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without noticing her.

How rude, thought Alice. Give a guy a blowjob and the next time you meet, he completely ignores you. Last time he'll get anything from me. ......(cont)